I’ll never forget when my therapist told me, “Allene, it sounds like they’ve set clear boundaries. They made a choice and chose themselves. It sounds like they don’t have a problem choosing to do what’s best for them, but you do.”
I was speechless.
I had come into that session frustrated, venting about people who didn’t show up for me as I expected or promised, people who didn’t help the way they said they would. But in that moment, she forced me to see the real issue: I was waiting for others to give me the care and support I needed instead of giving it to myself.
I had spent so much time holding onto expectations, relying on others to keep their word, and trying to meet the standards they had set for me. I didn’t realize I had been giving away my power, leaving my well-being in someone else’s hands. But what happens if their permission never comes? If I wait for someone else to “allow” me to prioritize myself, I might be waiting forever.
I finally understood that if I wanted true healing, true peace, I couldn’t keep depending on others to tell me when it was time to care for myself. I had to give myself that permission. Choosing what’s best for me isn’t selfish; it’s neccesary. It’s the foundation of my happiness, healing, and strength.
Prompt
Let’s start small. Take five minutes today to check in with yourself.
Ask, "What do I need right now?"
Then listen and honor that need, even if it feels uncomfortable or unfamiliar. Even if it feels hard.
This is how we practice self-care.
This is how we get back to center.
Because when you take care of you, you’re also taking care of everything you touch.
With you on this journey,
Allene